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LiLiana

Asking for advice

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Hello guys and girls from EF!

 

This is my situation.

My best friend (a brilliant girl, kind, lovely, well, the best) is going into depression.

I have her on the phone yesterday and she was sounding very awkward.

She lives far away from me but we continue to phone, skype, mailing but it's not the same thing as in real person.

You know what I mean. I know something's wrong but she won't tell me.

 

She only says that she is tired and sick, that was her voice was shaking !

 

Shaking !!!!

 

So, I phone her boyfriend without telling her (I hope she won't be mad).

 

He says to me she seems Ok, but that her job is taking all of her time and he can't see her very often.

For information, she is a professional translator and works at home.

 

She established her enterprise 3 years ago and, is working... alone in her bedroom since 3 years...

 

I may be wrong but I think this is the problem.

 

When I mentioned my last adventures with my colleagues yesterday, she only responds that it is better to have stupid co-workers that being alone.

 

Rings a bell...

 

But she works at home, she actually lives with his boyfriend, have animals, friends...

Why her boyfriend told me he can't see her? They LIVE together. Is she working so much that they don't do anything on week ends for example?

 

I will phone her tomorrow. Well, I'll try, she told me she had a lot of work, not time chatting.

 

That hurts me a lot. She's like my sister. I know she told me that because something is wrong but I don't know how to help her.

 

If you have any thoughts, any ideas, they are very welcome.

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maybe its the fact that they cant see each other very often (dunno how they pull that off but might be why if its true?) if she's so busy to the point where she has no time to hang out with him I feel like anybody in that kind of relationship would be sad oni102

 

p.s. what does advanced mean ? :D

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Does she stay home working while her boyfriend goes out to work? ( Knowing me and my ultra-fancy and tear jerking shoujo idea self, I shouldn't start anything too bad or you might get paranoid ). But I think what you should do is try visiting her, too. Like, in person, not just in emailing, skyping and all that. If you have time, I'm saying. ( the way she's described makes me feel like she's working too hard translating ).

 

Also, I think maybe she's just lonely. Since she works at home, and says she has no time to socialize, i'm pretty sure that means she doesn't go outside much at all. Translating sounds like a terribly difficult job if she's like that! Tell her to try working outside, maybe on the balcony or porch, or just go to a park or something. Stepping out for a few minutes really wouldn't hurt, either.

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Well, I think visiting her and talking to her in person is the best way to show your support. Maybe she just haven't told you anything because whatever happened is probably better to talk about face to face. I have a feeling something unfortunate must have happened, which is why she's feeling depressed, rather than simply feeling unusually lonely from working too much.

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I was planning to visit her some day.

I think it may be the right time.

 

Yes, her boyfriend works outside and she's has too much work. That's for sure.

 

I hope it's just that she needs too work less and it's not a bigger problem.

 

She's on skype right now. I left her a message and she responded : Later. Work.

 

....

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Maybe you should send her an encouraging letter that just says that you're here for her if anything happens and though she says she might be alright, you're still worried. A heartfelt message through mail is most of the time touching, and personally I think it'll make her feel a little better. Don't give up! (Y)

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I agree with what everyone is saying really :) I think you should go and visit her, maybe take her out or have a movie night in with chocolates/ ice cream. She might just need to get a load off her mind which has been worrying her ^^

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Also, I think maybe she's just lonely. Since she works at home, and says she has no time to socialize, i'm pretty sure that means she doesn't go outside much at all. Translating sounds like a terribly difficult job if she's like that! Tell her to try working outside, maybe on the balcony or porch, or just go to a park or something. Stepping out for a few minutes really wouldn't hurt, either.

 

Sunshine may help her. If she doesn't want to go outside, suggest that she open up a window. And I don't mean to belittle your concern, but maybe you're jumping the gun? Maybe she's just really overworked and not depressed? I think you should keep monitoring what she says through chat and things like that though it may be hard to tell how she really feels unless you can see her face. Visiting her may be the only way to tell how she's really feeling.

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Sunshine may help her. If she doesn't want to go outside, suggest that she open up a window. And I don't mean to belittle your concern, but maybe you're jumping the gun? Maybe she's just really overworked and not depressed? I think you should keep monitoring what she says through chat and things like that though it may be hard to tell how she really feels unless you can see her face. Visiting her may be the only way to tell how she's really feeling.

 

 

I'm going to visit her! My boss gives me my Saturday (I work on Saturdays...) so I can have a whole week-end.

 

I will buy tickets, hoping it won't be too much, knowing the awfully prices of SNCF. oni88 oni88

 

She lives near Brussels.

 

I'm going to tell her at lunch time. Crossed fingers she will say OK.

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